Common Misconceptions About Play Therapy: What Parents in Centennial, CO Should Know
If you've ever watched a play therapy session, you might wonder, Are they just playing? It's one of the most common questions I hear from parents.
Unlike therapy for adults, play therapy doesn't always look like what we expect therapy to look like. There may be dolls, art supplies, puppets, sand, games, or pretend play instead of sitting in chairs, having a conversation. From the outside, it can seem simple. But beneath the surface, there's intentional, evidence-informed therapeutic work happening every step of the way.
As a play therapist serving children and families in Centennial, Colorado, I believe that helping parents understand the therapeutic process is just as important as the work happening in the playroom. Here are some of the most common misconceptions about play therapy—and what actually happens during sessions.
Misconception #1: Play is just used to build rapport before the real therapy begins.
This is probably the biggest misconception about play therapy.
Many people assume that children spend the first few sessions playing to become comfortable with the therapist, and then eventually transition into talking about their feelings.
In reality, the play is the therapy.
Children naturally communicate, process experiences, solve problems, and express emotions through play. Rather than simply preparing them for therapy, play is the therapeutic medium itself. Play is the most developmentally appropriate way for children to work through difficult experiences, practice new ways of coping, build emotional regulation, and develop healthier relationships—all without needing to articulate everything they're experiencing.
Misconception #2: Play therapy is just talk therapy with games and toys.
Play therapy is much more than asking children questions while they play.
Adults primarily process experiences through language. Children, however, are still developing the cognitive and emotional skills needed to fully express complex thoughts and feelings with words.
In play therapy, toys become the child's language. A dollhouse, superhero figures, puppets, art materials, or a sandbox allows children to communicate experiences that may be difficult, or even impossible, for them to explain verbally.
Rather than translating play into words, a trained play therapist understands the meaning and function of symbolic expression within the therapeutic relationship.
The play is a vehicle to explore emotions and challenges, giving children a chance to practice new ways of relating to those feelings and hardships and practicing regulating through them.
Some play therapy sessions might involve a lot of talking, and some might be completely silent. Play therapists are trained to respond to and understand children, no matter how they show up.
Misconception #3: The therapist is “just playing.”
To an outside observer, a play therapy session may appear effortless or look like “regular play.” Some children may experience play therapy as regular play, but many children quickly tune into the fact that play therapy feels different.
In reality, play therapists are constantly making clinical decisions. Throughout a session, we are observing patterns, tracking recurring themes, supporting emotional regulation, helping children process difficult emotions, setting therapeutic limits when appropriate, and strengthening the therapeutic relationship.
Every interaction serves a purpose.
The goal isn't entertainment. It's creating a safe environment where children can experience emotional growth and healing.
Misconception #4: If my child is laughing, therapy isn't addressing the hard stuff.
Real therapeutic work for both children and adults involves joy. Healing isn’t just about processing past and current suffering—it’s also about expanding our capacity for joy and presence.
While children certainly experience difficult emotions during treatment, healing also happens through joy, creativity, curiosity, and connection.
Moments of laughter don't mean therapy is avoiding important work. In fact, positive emotional experiences help children build resilience, increase their sense of safety, and strengthen their ability to cope with future challenges.
Children often move naturally between difficult emotional themes and playful moments because that's how their nervous systems regulate. When there is laughter, joy, connection, and creativity emerging in sessions, that is often a sign to play therapists that true healing and empowerment is happening.
Misconception #5: Children have to talk about what happened for therapy to work.
Parents sometimes worry that if their child isn't discussing difficult experiences directly, therapy isn't effective.
Fortunately, that's not how children's brains work.
Play allows children to process experiences symbolically. They can gain mastery over overwhelming emotions, experiment with different outcomes, and safely revisit challenging experiences without needing to verbally retell every detail.
For some children, healing may involve talking about what happened. For many children, healing begins long before they have the language to explain what they're feeling. Those who experienced trauma before narrative memories formed may not even have the language to describe what happened. Kids don’t need language to process and change what has become patterned in the nervous system.
Misconception #6: Play therapy is only for young children.
While play therapy is commonly associated with preschool- and elementary-aged children, developmentally appropriate play and expressive interventions can also be highly effective with older children, tweens, teens, and even adults.
As children grow, therapy often incorporates games, art, creative activities, storytelling, and other experiential approaches that match their developmental needs while continuing to support emotional growth. We can expand our idea of what “play” means.
Misconception #7: Children will only learn skills from directive interventions and teaching.
Play gives children opportunities for experiential learning, which is often how they learn best. Many parents I talk to have already tried a variety of strategies, including talking to their kids about emotions and coping strategies, and trying to teach them skills verbally—and many parents have found it to be unsuccessful.
That’s because when children (and adults) are dysregulated, their prefrontal cortex, or the “thinking” part of their brain, essentially shuts off. They no longer have access to language or lessons they learned verbally—they are reverting to what is patterned within the nervous system.
Directive interventions certainly have a place within play therapy, but they are not what defines play therapy. Play therapy honors a child’s self-determination and their own tendency toward integration and healing.
Misconception #8: Children need to understand the therapeutic goals for therapy to work.
The reality is… it depends! Adults often gain insight through language and reflection. Children often gain insight through experience, repetition, and corrective emotional experiences in play.
Many parents worry that if children don’t know what they’re going to play therapy to “work” on, it won’t come up. But children already naturally use play to explore and process what feels confusing or stuck.
Depending on a child’s age and development, it may be appropriate to include them in the goal identification process (because kids deserve to have a say in their treatment if they want to and are able to). But, children knowing exactly what they are addressing in sessions is not a prerequisite for healing and change.
Misconception #9: Parents should ask their child exactly what happens in sessions.
Children deserve confidentiality and autonomy in their therapy just like adults do. Some children will excitedly give parents a play-by-play of sessions, while others prefer to keep their sessions private.
Asking for a play-by-play can unintentionally pressure children. What’s more helpful is trusting the process and focusing on changes in functioning, emotional regulation, and relationships over time.
In my work, parents are deeply involved in the process via weekly or biweekly parent meetings, but the focus is on general themes emerging and what support could look like outside of sessions. What’s more helpful than talking about exactly what goes on in sessions is parents working on their own skill- and capacity-building.
Misconception #10: The goal of therapy is simply to stop unwanted behaviors.
Parents often seek therapy because of behaviors they see at home or school.
While reducing challenging behaviors is certainly important, behavior is communication. Before we jump into trying to correct a behavior, it’s deeply important to understand the underlying need driving that behavior.
Rather than focusing only on eliminating behaviors, play therapy helps identify and address the underlying emotional needs contributing to those behaviors. As children develop stronger emotional regulation, healthier coping strategies, and greater feelings of safety and connection, behavior often improves naturally—this often leads to deeper, more long-term change, because Band-Aid solutions and strategies are avoided.
What Parents Can Expect from Play Therapy
One of the hardest parts of beginning therapy is trusting a process that may look very different from adult counseling.
Progress doesn't always happen through long conversations. It often happens through repeated themes in play, growing confidence, improved emotional regulation, stronger relationships, increased flexibility, and healthier ways of expressing feelings.
These changes may seem subtle at first, but over time they can create meaningful, lasting growth in a child's emotional well-being.
Looking for Play Therapy in Centennial, CO?
If you're wondering whether play therapy could help your child, you're not alone. Many parents have questions about what sessions look like and how children heal through play.
As a play therapist in Centennial, Colorado, I provide a developmentally appropriate, relationship-based approach that helps children express emotions, build resilience, strengthen coping skills, and work through life's challenges in ways that match how they naturally learn and communicate.
If you'd like to learn more about play therapy or discuss whether it's the right fit for your child, I'd be happy to answer your questions. Click the button below to schedule a free parent consultation call, where you’ll have the opportunity to ask your questions and figure out if play therapy is the right fit for your child.