How to Manage Overstimulation and Understimulation in Children

A Play Therapist’s Guide for Parents in Littleton, Colorado & the surrounding South Denver suburbs

Understanding Overstimulation and Understimulation

As a play therapist in Littleton, Colorado, I frequently work with children who struggle with emotional regulation, sensory processing, ADHD, and autism. One of the most common challenges I see is difficulty managing nervous system arousal, specifically, states of overstimulation and understimulation.

Although they can look similar on the outside, they require different supports. Understanding overstimulation and understimulation can give you a more complete picture regarding how to support your child’s (and your own ) nervous system.

If you’re a parent searching for guidance around child anxiety, ADHD, autism, or emotional dysregulation in Littleton, this breakdown will help you better understand what may be happening beneath the surface.

What Is Overstimulation?

Overstimulation occurs when incoming sensory, cognitive, or social input exceeds the nervous system’s processing capacity. Clinically, this is associated with sympathetic nervous system activation, often referred to as the fight-or-flight response.

While anyone can experience overstimulation, it is especially common among neurodivergent children, including those with ADHD, autism, sensory processing differences, or anxiety.

For some children, overstimulation results in shutdown or dissociation. For others, it shows up as agitation, irritability, or impulsive attempts to escape or reduce input.

Signs of Overstimulation in Children

Sensory Signs

• Heightened sensitivity to sound, light, touch, smell, or visual clutter

• Feeling “attacked” by normal environmental stimuli

• Strong urge to block input (e.g., covering ears, hiding, leaving the room)

Emotional & Physiological Signs

• Irritability or anxiety that is seemingly disproportionate to the trigger

• Tearfulness or emotional flooding

• Feeling overwhelmed or trapped

• Muscle tension

• Increased heart rate

• Stomachaches or gastrointestinal discomfort

Cognitive Signs

• Reduced working memory

• Difficulty processing language or instructions

• “Brain fog” despite high activation

• Decision paralysis

• Headaches or migraines

Behavioral Signs

• Withdrawal or shutdown

• Meltdowns (loss of behavioral control due to overload)

• Increased stimming (e.g., rocking, pacing, fidgeting)

• Abrupt need to escape the environment

What Is Understimulation?

Understimulation occurs when environmental or cognitive input is insufficient to maintain optimal brain activation. It is often linked to low dopaminergic engagement, particularly in ADHD.

In ADHD, hyperactivity and distraction are often misunderstood as “too much energy,” when in reality, the brain may be attempting to self-regulate arousal.

In autism, understimulation may present as sensory seeking or repetitive behaviors.

Signs of Understimulation in Children

Sensory Signs

• Seeking intense input (e.g., loud music, spinning, crashing, deep pressure)

• Frequent fidgeting or repetitive movement

• Touching objects or people often

Emotional & Physiological Signs

• Restlessness

• Chronic boredom

• Irritability

• Apathy or flat affect

• Fatigue or sluggishness

Cognitive Signs

• Difficulty initiating tasks

• Mind-wandering

• Procrastination

• Craving novelty or urgency

• “I know what to do, but I can’t start” paralysis

Behavioral Signs

• Risk-taking or impulsivity

• Constant phone or device checking

• Task-switching

• Seeking conflict or drama

• Daydreaming or dissociation

Overstimulation vs. Understimulation: How to Tell the Difference

Externally, both states can look similar. You might see:

• Irritability

• Difficulty concentrating

• Restlessness

• Emotional dysregulation

• Increased stimming

However, the internal experience differs. You can ask your child, or yourself:

• “Do you feel flooded and desperate for less?” → Likely overstimulation

• “Do you feel bored, flat, or craving intensity?” → Likely understimulation

Also consider:

• Environmental input level

• Task novelty and interest

• Duration (overstimulation is often acute; understimulation is often chronic)

Helping children map their internal states, such as how they know they’re experiencing over- or understimulation, triggers for each state, and what they need in those states, builds long-term self-awareness and regulation skills.

This is a major focus of play therapy.

At-Home Strategies for Overstimulation

If your child frequently feels overwhelmed, consider creating nervous-system supports at home:

• Create a calm corner or “cozy zone” for self-soothing with dim lighting, soft textures, and other comfort items

• Use weighted blankets or lap pads

• Provide noise-cancelling headphones or earplugs (such as the Loop earplugs for kids)

• Offer fidgets or chew jewelry (I’m a big fan of Aaron’s Thinking Putty, Nee Doh cubes, and chew necklaces such as this one)

• Incorporate slow, rhythmic movement (e.g., a rocking chair or sensory swing)

• Use predictable routines and visual schedules → It can be especially helpful to plan for 30 minutes to an hour of low-demand time after school as a reset, especially if your child has a tendency to mask a lot at school and deplete themselves of energy

• Reduce pressure to mask, maintain eye contact, or sit still

For families navigating neurodivergence, environmental modifications are often more effective than behavioral correction. Rather than children receiving the message that something is wrong with their brains that needs to be corrected, they learn how to accommodate themselves so they can be successful.

School or Work Strategies for Overstimulation

• Access to a quiet space or scheduled breaks

• Noise-reducing headphones or earplugs

• Flexible seating (e.g., wiggle seats, yoga balls, foot bands, standing desks)

• Movement breaks between transitions

• Permission to doodle, stand, or look away while listening

• Clear advocacy explaining that engagement may look different → It can be helpful to work with teachers and school staff to determine what focus and engagement looks like for your child, rather than assuming that your child will present in a neurotypical way (e.g., sometimes forcing eye contact for neurodivergent kids can actually take away auditory focus)

Advocating for accommodations can significantly reduce emotional dysregulation and burnout.

At-Home Strategies for Understimulation

When a child seems restless, bored, or unable to initiate tasks, increasing stimulation may help:

• Play background music or noise (upbeat music may be particularly helpful)

• Take active movement breaks (e.g., walking, dancing, using a mini trampoline)

• Rotate toys or activities for novelty

• Gamify chores using timers or challenges

• Use strong flavors (e.g., mint, sour candy) or chew gum

• Splash face with cold water or take a “cold plunge” shower

• Use weighted items, such as blankets, vests, or lap pads, for added sensory input

Children experiencing understimulation often benefit from structured novelty and task variation.

School or Work Strategies for Understimulation

• Doodling during lectures

• Standing desks or alternative seating

• Fidgets or sensory tools

• Movement or heavy-work breaks

• Listening to background music during independent work

• Task switching to introduce novelty

• Partner or small group collaboration for increased engagement

• Incorporating choice when appropriate

• Providing children with “jobs” at school (e.g., walking the attendance sheet to the front office, retrieving paper copies, filling up water bottles for the class, etc.) to naturally provide movement and engagement breaks

When stimulation matches a child’s neurological needs, behavior often improves naturally.

When to Seek Support

If your child frequently experiences meltdowns, shutdowns, chronic boredom, or difficulty regulating emotions, working with a child therapist trained in play therapy and nervous system regulation can help.

Play therapy allows children to:

• Build nervous system awareness

• Increase emotional literacy

• Develop regulation and self-advocacy strategies

• Reduce anxiety and overwhelm

• Improve executive functioning

If you are looking for play therapy in Littleton, Colorado, support is available. Early intervention can significantly improve emotional resilience and family functioning.

Looking for a Neurodivergent-Affirming Child Therapist in Littleton, Colorado?

If you’re navigating ADHD, autism, sensory processing differences, anxiety, or emotional dysregulation, I provide neurodivergent-affirming play therapy for children and support for parents. My goal is for children to learn about their brains and nervous systems so they know how to accommodate themselves, finding success without masking and burnout.

Click the button below to schedule a free consultation and learn how we can support your child’s nervous system and emotional growth.