Neurodivergence in Girls: Overlooked Signs Many Families in Littleton, CO Miss

Neurodivergence in girls doesn’t always look like disruption. More often, it looks like adaptation.

As a therapist working with children and teens in Littleton, Colorado, I often meet girls who are described as “doing great” at school—yet are quietly struggling with anxiety, emotional overwhelm, exhaustion, or a growing sense that they have to work hard to be “good enough.”

High achievement, perfect behavior, and social compliance can hide significant internal stress. For many neurodivergent girls, these patterns are not strengths—they are coping strategies.

Below are some of the less obvious and frequently overlooked signs of neurodivergence in girls, especially those I commonly see in therapy with families in the Littleton and south Denver metro area.

Neurodivergence in Girls Often Shows Up as Adaptation, Not Acting Out

Neurodivergence has traditionally been identified through external behaviors such as hyperactivity, impulsivity, academic challenges, or emotional outbursts. Because many girls are socialized to be compliant and emotionally attuned to others, they often adapt rather than disrupt.

This adaptation can help them function in school and social settings—but it often leads to burnout, anxiety, and a loss of connection to self.

1. Extreme People-Pleasing or Perfectionism

Why it’s missed: These traits are frequently praised by adults and teachers.

A neurodivergent girl may be afraid of making mistakes or unwilling to try new things unless she’s confident she will succeed. She may earn straight A’s or receive consistent positive behavior reports, while experiencing emotional meltdowns or shutdowns at home.

Parents in my Littleton therapy practice often notice:

• Fear of failure or disappointing others

• Difficulty making decisions

• Defaulting to others’ preferences to avoid conflict

• Emotional collapse after holding it together all day

This is not a lack of confidence—it’s a sign that a child feels pressure to perform in order to be accepted.

2. Social Exhaustion (Not a Lack of Social Skills)

Why it’s missed: She has friends.

Many neurodivergent girls are socially capable, but socializing requires significant mental and emotional energy. The social skills they might need help with are often more nuanced, such as how to identify and enforce boundaries to avoid resentment in relationships.

Common signs include:

• Irritability, withdrawal, or tearfulness after school or activities

• A strong need for downtime after social events

• Avoidance of large groups

• Preference for friends with strong personalities who “take the lead”

The challenge is not social ability—it’s nervous system overload.

3. Masking Through Imitation

Why it’s missed: She blends in.

Masking can involve consciously or unconsciously copying peers in order to appear socially typical.

This may include:

• Studying how others talk, dress, or react

• Mentally rehearsing conversations

• Appearing socially successful while feeling internally overwhelmed

• Increasing confusion about identity over time

In therapy, girls often describe feeling exhausted and unsure of who they are beneath the mask.

4. Intense Interests That Look “Typical”

Why it’s missed: Their interests are “socially acceptable.”

Girls’ hyperfixations are often overlooked when they align with societal expectations.

Examples include:

• Reading the same series repeatedly

• Deep attachment to animals, fantasy worlds, or fictional characters

• Special interests in beauty, fashion, or social trends (often as a way to support masking)

• Using interests for emotional regulation or escape

These special interests often get intertwined with essential coping strategies.

5. Emotional Intensity Labeled as “Dramatic”

Why it’s missed: Emotional expression in girls is frequently minimized, being labeled as “dramatic” or “hormonal.”

Neurodivergent girls may experience emotions deeply and struggle to sort or name them.

This can look like:

• Strong reactions to small changes

• A heightened sense of fairness or justice

• Deep empathy that becomes overwhelming

• Difficulty explaining feelings

These behaviors signal emotional overwhelm—not immaturity or “drama.”

6. Sensory Sensitivities That Go Unnoticed

Why it’s missed: She tolerates discomfort until she reaches her limit.

Sensory challenges often show up outside of school hours.

Parents may notice:

• Clothing discomfort that leads to distress at home

• Noise sensitivity masked during the school day

• Food texture or taste aversions described as picky eating

• Subtle self-soothing behaviors like hair twirling or nail biting

Supporting sensory needs can significantly reduce emotional dysregulation and restraint collapse after a school day.

7. Chronic Anxiety or Dysregulation Without a Clear Cause

Why it’s missed: The underlying cause is cumulative and internal.

When anxiety stems from long-term masking and unmet needs, it may seem sudden.

This can include:

• School avoidance

• Frequent headaches or stomachaches

• Sleep difficulties

• Emotional shutdowns or outbursts

In many cases, anxiety is a response—not the root issue.

How Therapy Can Support Neurodivergent Girls in Littleton, CO

When we slow down and listen to these subtle signs, we can respond with understanding rather than correction.

In therapy that supports nervous system healing, girls can:

• Learn to identify and express emotions safely

• Understand their nervous system and sensory needs

• Reduce reliance on masking and people-pleasing

• Build self-advocacy skills

• Explore identity and self-acceptance

• Feel celebrated for who they are—not just how they perform

We can meet your daughter where she’s at and celebrate her authentic self so she can ditch the masking, people-pleasing, and perfectionism.

Support for Families in Littleton, CO and Surrounding Areas

If you’re a parent in Littleton, Highlands Ranch, or the surrounding south Denver suburbs, and recognize your daughter in these descriptions, you’re not alone—and support is available.

Working with a therapist who understands neurodivergence in girls can help your child feel more regulated, confident, and connected to herself.

If you’d like to learn more about therapy services for neurodivergent children and teens in Littleton, Colorado, click the button below to schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation now and learn more about what support could look like for your daughter.