Understanding Suicidal Ideation in Children and Teens: Warning Signs, Causes, and How to Help

Suicidal ideation in children and teens is a difficult and often-avoided topic. Many parents, caregivers, and educators feel overwhelmed when they hear the words “suicidal thoughts” or “suicidal ideation” connected to kids.

But the reality is this: Youth suicide is a serious mental health concern, and the more we understand it, the better equipped we are to support our children.

Suicide Statistics in Kids and Teens

According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI):

• Suicide is the second leading cause of death among youth ages 10–14.

• It is the 11th leading cause of death for people ages 15–24.

• LGBTQ+ youth are at particularly high risk, experiencing suicidal ideation at significantly higher rates.

These numbers highlight why it’s so important to recognize warning signs early and seek support.

Warning Signs of Suicidal Ideation in Children and Teens

Kids and teens may express suicidal thoughts directly or more subtly. Common warning signs of youth suicide include:

• Withdrawing or isolating from friends and family

• Significant changes in eating or sleeping patterns

• Frequent mood swings or irritability

• Decline in school performance

• Risk-taking or reckless behavior

• Giving away belongings

• Talking about feeling hopeless, trapped, or like a burden

• Expressing that they don’t belong

While not every child will show these signs, any major shift in mood, behavior, or functioning deserves attention.

The Nervous System and Suicidal Thoughts

Understanding what’s happening in a child’s nervous system can help give context as to why your child or teen is experiencing suicidal thoughts.

Many children experiencing suicidal ideation are in a state of hypo-arousal, also called nervous system shutdown or collapse. This is the body’s survival response to overwhelming stress when the nervous system perceives it’s facing a challenge that it cannot handle head-on.

When stuck in hypo-arousal, children may feel:

• Helpless

• Hopeless

• Numb or disconnected

• Stuck in emotional pain

Recognizing this as a physiological stress response can help parents and caregivers approach their child with empathy and understanding. When kids are experiencing a nervous system response that is causing them to feel hopeless, helpless, and stuck, this can often lead to suicidal thoughts. In ongoing therapy, kids can learn how to get out of this nervous system state and can identify sources of support and coping.

What Parents Can Do if Their Child Expresses Suicidal Thoughts

If your child shares that they are having suicidal thoughts, it’s important to respond with care and action. Here are some key pieces to remember:

1. Stay Regulated Yourself

Hearing your child express suicidal ideation can be overwhelming and distressing. You may notice activation in your own nervous system, whether you’re experiencing shutdown yourself or feeling anxious. Take deep breaths, ground yourself, and focus on being calm and present so you can show up for your child.

It can be helpful to engage in regulating activities together while talking, such as going for a walk, coloring, listening to calming music, etc.

Long-term, it can be helpful to receive parent coaching from your child’s therapist or to start seeing your own therapist to receive support so you can best show up for your kid—you deserve help too.

2. Listen Without Judgment

Avoid rushing to “fix” their feelings. Because it can be so activating hearing a child, especially your own child, talking about intense feelings and thoughts of suicide, it can be tempting to try to quickly make things better. But, this can inadvertently feel invalidating for a kid—they may get the message that their thoughts and feelings are too big to handle.

Instead, listen openly and validate their experience. Simply holding space can build trust and safety. This might sound like, “it sounds like you’ve been feeling really hopeless lately,” or “that does sound really stressful, it sounds like you’ve been juggling a lot.”

3. Seek Professional Help

You and your child don’t have to face this alone. If your child is in immediate crisis, call 988 or your local crisis line.

For ongoing support, connect with a therapist who specializes in child and adolescent suicidality to understand and address root causes.

National Suicide Prevention Resources

• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call, text, or chat 988 (chat at 988lifeline.org) – available 24/7.

• NAMI HelpLine: Call 800-950-6264 or text “NAMI” to 62640, Monday–Friday, 10 AM–10 PM ET.

• The Trevor Project (LGBTQ+ support): Call 1-866-488-7386, text “START” to 678-678, or use online chat – available 24/7.

• Crisis Text Line: Text “HOME” or “HOLA” to 741741 for free, confidential, 24/7 support.

Colorado Suicide Prevention Resources

• Second Wind Fund: Provides therapy funding for youth at risk of suicide who face financial barriers, and also works with a referral network to connect families with appropriate therapists.

• Colorado Crisis Services: Call 1-844-493-8255, text “TALK” to 38255, or visit coloradocrisisservices.org for walk-in centers.

4. Create a Safety Plan

It can be helpful to work with professionals to create a safety plan. In general, it’s a good idea to remove or secure lethal means, work with teachers and staff to create a school-specific plan, and work with your child to identify support people and coping skills to utilize in times of distress.

5. Keep the Conversation Open

Continue checking in. Remind your child that it’s safe to talk about hard feelings—and that you are there for them. I often return to this quote by Mr. Rogers:

“Anything that’s human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary. The people we trust with that important talk can help us know that we are not alone.”

Final Thoughts

Talking about suicide in children and teens may feel frightening, but silence makes it harder for kids to reach out. By noticing warning signs, understanding what’s happening in the nervous system, and offering supportive, judgment-free communication, parents and caregivers can play a powerful role in prevention.

If you’re looking for a therapist well-versed in treating kids and teens experiencing suicidal ideation, as well as support for yourself and someone who works with and accepts Second Wind Fund Grant, click the button below to schedule a free 15-minute intro call.