6 Signs That Your Child May Benefit From Therapy (From Your Perspective)

We talk a lot about indicators in children’s behaviors that tell us they may benefit from therapy, but what about the parents? The unique thing about child therapy is that we’re not only focused on individualized healing for that child but also what support could look like for the entire family system. A lot of parents know that it’s time to reach out for extra support not just from changes in their child’s behaviors and moods, but changes they’re noticing in themselves as well. Parenting is one of the toughest jobs out there, and we were never meant to parent in a vacuum without outside support. Let’s dive into what you may be noticing in your own moods and behaviors when it could be time to reach out for more support.

1. Your own anxiety is starting to increase.

Dysregulation is contagious. Humans are very social creatures, and we can often feel (and start to take on) the emotions and nervous system states of those around us (especially those closest to us). If your child has been feeling more anxious or emotions have been feeling more intense, you might notice that your own anxiety is starting to feel heightened - you’re not sure what kind of day it’s going to be with your child, you’re trying your best to support your child’s regulation but aren’t sure if it’s going to be successful. You might also notice that you’re going into shutdown mode or just going through the motions and trying to get through the day. When our nervous system encounters stress over a prolonged period of time, it starts to get exhausted and collapse.

2. You’re starting to avoid certain places or situations to mitigate meltdowns.

Avoidance is often our nervous system’s first defense to challenges and potential threats, especially when we feel anxious or scared. It can be dysregulating, exhausting, and draining trying to support your child’s regulation in the midst of intense meltdowns. If you notice you’re starting to avoid certain places or situations that were previously a part of your family’s everyday life because it’s feeling too challenging to support your child through the inevitable meltdown, it could be a sign that more support is needed. Avoidance works well in the short term to mitigate anxiety and other big feelings, but over time, it intensifies reactions because that pattern is getting stronger - play therapy can help both children and parents widen their window of tolerance for handling the big emotions that come along with certain places and situations, and over time, parents and children feel more confident regulating through those experiences.

3. It’s starting to feel challenging to get through the day at home and/or at school.

Childhood is tough. Parenting is tough. There are inevitable challenges throughout the days, weeks, and months, and some challenge is a good thing - it’s what teaches kids how to get through hard times and builds resilience. But, if you’re starting to notice that nearly every day is starting to feel nearly impossible to get through - morning routines are a battle, you’re unsure if you’ll get a call from school that day, you’re walking on eggshells during dinner and bedtime - it could be a sign that more support is needed.

4. You’ve tried a million different strategies and haven’t found what works.

I often hear from parents that they feel like they’ve tried everything - they’ve listened to the podcasts, they’ve read the books, they’ve tried out different approaches and offered different strategies to their kids - and it feels like nothing has worked (or it worked for a while before it stopped working). Play therapy can give adults a deeper understanding of a child’s perspective so strategies and supports can be more targeted and individualized for that child.

5. You’re starting to feel disconnected from yourself and no longer trust your own intuition in your parenting.

After ongoing challenges and feeling like they’ve tried a million different things and nothing has been supportive, a lot of parents can start to question themselves and doubt their own intuition in parenting. One of the main goals of play therapy is to offer children and families the extra support they need right now so parents can feel confident in their responses again. Parents know their children best - sometimes, they just need extra help.

6. You want to know the root causes of your child’s feelings and behaviors but can’t figure it out.

I hear from parents often that behaviors and moods have changed, challenges have intensified, and they know something is off - but they don’t know what that is specifically. Play therapy helps us uncover those root causes because children can express themselves without words (which can be quite difficult for kids depending on their age and developmental level). Your child’s behaviors and moods don’t have to feel like a mystery, they can start to feel like a puzzle we’re putting together based on the themes coming up in play therapy sessions and how those fit into a larger context.

If this post resonated and you’re feeling ready to get the support you and your child need, click the Contact button in the top-right corner or at the bottom of this page to schedule a free 15-minute introduction call. Taking that first step can be scary - it’s brave to reach out for the help you need. Play therapy can be a soft place for both you and your child to land so your home can feel peaceful and regulated again.