Recognizing Childhood Anxiety: Symptoms, Behaviors, and How Play Therapy Can Help

How to Recognize Anxiety in Children and How Play Therapy Can Help

It’s normal for kids to feel anxious from time to time. But when anxiety becomes persistent or starts to interfere with daily life, it’s worth paying closer attention. Many parents wonder: Is this typical childhood worry, or is something more going on? Let’s break it down.

What Is Anxiety?

From a nervous system perspective, anxiety occurs when the brain enters a hyper-aroused state, often referred to as the fight-or-flight response. The amygdala — the part of the brain that scans for threats — sounds the alarm, even when there’s no actual danger present. For kids with anxiety, this alarm system is often overly sensitive due to past experiences, trauma, or genetic predisposition.

Common Physical Signs of Anxiety

Anxiety shows up in the body first. Here are some common somatic symptoms kids might experience:

• Increased heart rate

• Shortness of breath

• Nausea or stomachaches

• Tingly or shaky limbs

• Restlessness or fidgeting

• Racing thoughts or mental “blanks”

• Tightness or heaviness in the chest

• Muscle tension

If these symptoms happen frequently or become overwhelming, children may begin to fear the feelings themselves, creating a cycle of avoidance and further dysregulation.

What Anxiety Can Look Like in Kids

Anxiety doesn’t always look like fear or worry on the surface. Here are some common behaviors that may actually be rooted in anxiety:

1. Being Demanding or Controlling

Children may try to avoid uncertainty (a common anxiety trigger) by controlling situations around them. This is often mistaken for defiance.

2. Fidgeting, Restlessness, or Hyperactivity

Their bodies may be trying to release the anxious energy created by the fight-or-flight response.

3. Procrastination and Avoidance

Especially with schoolwork or challenging tasks. Avoidance temporarily reduces anxiety but worsens it long-term.

4. Indecisiveness

An anxious brain can make even small decisions feel high-stakes, leading to chronic self-doubt or overwhelm.

5. Physical Aggression

Some kids may literally go into a fight response, especially if they’ve experienced trauma or feel out of control.

6. Irritability or Verbal Outbursts

Anxiety can show up as anger, irritability, or defensiveness — particularly in older children and teens.

7. Chronic Somatic Complaints

Frequent headaches, stomachaches, or other physical issues without a medical cause may be anxiety in disguise.

How Play Therapy Helps Kids with Anxiety

To truly support a child with anxiety, we must help them build new nervous system patterns — ones that allow them to tolerate the feelings they’ve learned to fear.

Synergetic Play Therapy is a powerful, experiential form of therapy that helps children:

• Explore anxiety in a safe, supportive environment

• Identify the physical sensations that signal anxiety

• Practice regulation skills that calm the body and mind

• Decrease avoidance by slowly engaging with feared experiences

• Reconnect with their bodies and rebuild trust in themselves

For teens, this work may include talking through anxiety-inducing situations and practicing grounding tools. Over time, kids learn that their feelings aren’t dangerous — and that they are capable of managing them.