How to Help Kids with Transitions: Therapist-Approved Tips for Smoother Routines
As a play therapist, one of the most frequent concerns I hear from caregivers is how to help their child manage difficult transitions. Whether your child struggles with the morning routine, resists bedtime, gets overwhelmed when leaving the house, or melts down when schedules change—these challenges can feel exhausting.
The good news? With the right tools, you can support your child through transitions while staying grounded yourself. Let’s explore how to navigate transitions with practical, evidence-based strategies.
Understanding Why Transitions Are Hard for Kids
Before jumping into solutions, it’s important to understand why transitions are so challenging for children. One of the biggest stressors on the nervous system is the experience of the unknown. And transitions—especially for young children—are full of unknowns.
Even everyday transitions (like getting ready in the morning or switching from playtime to mealtime) can trigger anxiety. A child’s brain may be wondering things like:
What will happen today?
How will I feel when I leave Mom or Dad?
Will I get to return to my favorite toy or activity?
When kids feel uncertain or unsafe, they may enter a state of nervous system dysregulation, which can show up as:
Difficulty focusing
Heightened energy or restlessness
Big emotional reactions (meltdowns, aggression, or arguing)
Feeling out of control
And here’s something many caregivers don’t realize: nervous system states are contagious. When your child becomes dysregulated, you might feel yourself getting anxious, rushed, or overwhelmed too. That’s why one of the most effective things you can do is...
Regulate Yourself First
Before you help your child calm down, you need to feel calm and grounded yourself. When you're regulated, you're better able to co-regulate with your child—which helps their nervous system settle, too.
Here are some parent-tested ways to support your own nervous system during transitions:
Give yourself more time – Rushing increases stress. Try building in a buffer so you don’t feel frantic when your child needs extra support.
Take deep breaths or sighs – Intentional breathing can quickly calm your nervous system.
Move your body – Stretching, walking, or shaking out your limbs can release built-up energy.
Support your sensory system – Try using tools like noise-cancelling headphones, fidgets, or a handheld fan.
Drink cold water – Sipping through a straw can be grounding and soothing.
Use sour candy or spray – The strong sensory input of something sour can offer a jolt that helps reset your nervous system (and your child’s too!).
Identify Transition Triggers
If transitions are consistently challenging, try tracking what’s happening. Jot down notes after a tough transition and ask:
What was the hardest part?
What helped (even a little)?
Was there a change in routine, environment, or expectations?
Identifying patterns helps you create more targeted solutions.
Create Predictability with Routines and Visual Supports
One of the best ways to reduce transition-related anxiety is to create consistency. Children feel safer when they know what to expect.
Here’s how to bring more predictability into daily transitions:
Build a Visual Routine Chart
Use pictures or simple drawings to map out steps in a routine (like morning or bedtime). Kids love knowing what comes next. For example:
Brush teeth
Pick a stuffed animal to bring to bed
Choose two books
Sound machine & nightlight on
Lights out
Narrate the Process Out Loud
Even if the routine is the same every day, walk your child through it. You’ll know it’s clicking when they start finishing your sentences!
Use Gentle, Concrete Language
How you phrase transition reminders matters. Try saying:
“Five more minutes to play, then we’ll race upstairs to brush teeth”
Instead of:
“In five minutes, you’re going to brush your teeth.”
The first feels more like an invitation; the second can feel abrupt or threatening to a sensitive nervous system.
Try Visual or Sensory Timers
Depending on your child, a visual timer may help them see how much time is left. For others, counting “two more turns” or “one more song” can be more effective, especially for younger kids.
Prepare for Changes in Routine Ahead of Time
Big transitions—like a caregiver traveling or a new school drop-off routine—require more prep time. Here’s how to ease your child into these shifts:
Start talking about the change several days in advance
Use visual calendars or drawings to show what will happen and when
Remind them gently and often, without pressure
For example:
🗓 “Next week, Grandma will take you to school while I’m on a trip. Let’s put that on our calendar so we can talk about it each day.”
Make Transitions Playful
One of the most effective (and often overlooked) ways to support children during transitions is to make them fun. When transitions feel like a game, children are more likely to stay regulated, cooperative, and connected with you.
Here are playful strategies to ease transition stress:
Turn Transitions Into Games
“Beat the Clock” Challenge – Set a timer and see if your child can get their shoes on or finish brushing their teeth before the buzzer.
“Race You There!” – Race to the car, bedroom, or kitchen or use a stopwatch to see how quickly you can get there.
“Mystery Steps” – Give clues like, “Your next job rhymes with ‘rush’ and starts with a B…” (Brush!)
Use Characters or Stuffed Animals
Let your child’s favorite stuffed animal or toy lead the routine. For example:
“Teddy says it’s time to put on socks!”
“Elsa is brushing her teeth—can you show her how you do it too?”
Sing Your Way Through
Make up silly songs to guide the routine. Singing not only grabs attention, but it also helps regulate the nervous system and makes transitions more memorable.
Use Playful Language & Movement
Instead of saying, “It’s time to go,” try something like:
“Let’s fly like superheroes to the car!”
“Shall we tiptoe like ninjas to the bathtub?”
Let Your Child Take the Lead
Offer choices and turn them into part of the game: “Should we stomp like dinosaurs or march like a parade to the bathroom?”
Giving kids a sense of agency during transitions can reduce resistance and boost cooperation.
Why Playful Transitions Work
When kids are having fun, their nervous system is more likely to stay regulated. Playfulness invites cooperation without power struggles and builds stronger connection. You’re not just getting through the routine—you’re making meaningful, positive memories with your child.
Final Thoughts: Supporting Transitions is a Process
If your child struggles with transitions, you’re not alone. With the right support, they can build the skills to handle change—and you can feel more confident guiding them through it.
Remember: Your regulation is their regulation. By understanding the nervous system, creating consistent routines, and regulating yourself first, you lay the foundation for smoother, less stressful transitions for the whole family.
Need More Support with Transitions?
Every child is unique—and sometimes, even the best tools need to be tailored to your family’s specific needs. If transitions are still feeling overwhelming, you don’t have to navigate it alone. As a play therapist, I support caregivers in creating personalized strategies that work for your child and your nervous system.
Click the button below to schedule a consultation or learn more about how we can work together. I'm here to help you and your child find more ease in everyday routines.