Why Talk Therapy Doesn’t Work for Kids—and Why Play Therapy Meets Them Where They Are
Children aren’t just mini adults—they have unique emotional and developmental needs based on how their brains are growing and changing. This is one of the most important things to understand when supporting children’s mental health and emotional development.
Let’s explore how children’s brains develop, why they often struggle to explain big feelings and behaviors, and how play therapy bridges the gap between what they feel and what they’re able to express.
🧠 A Quick Overview of Brain Development in Children
When we talk about brain development, we’re usually referring to three key parts of the brain:
The Brainstem – This is fully developed at birth. It handles basic survival functions like breathing, heart rate, and body temperature.
The Limbic System – Often called the emotional brain, this develops throughout early childhood and is responsible for scanning the environment for cues of safety, danger, or challenge. This is why toddlers and young children can be so reactive and emotional.
The Prefrontal Cortex – This is the thinking brain, and it handles things like impulse control, planning, reasoning, emotional regulation, and understanding consequences. But here’s the kicker:
The prefrontal cortex doesn’t finish developing until the mid-to-late twenties.
This means that children feel emotions intensely, but they often don’t have the brain development yet to explain what they’re feeling, why it’s happening, or what they need. And this is where many caregivers find themselves stuck.
“My Child Has Big Reactions, But I Don’t Know Why”
You’re not alone. On initial phone calls with parents, I often hear things like:
“They have huge reactions, but we can’t figure out what’s setting them off.”
“We try to talk through it, but they just shut down or can’t explain.”
“It feels like we’re going in circles with the same behaviors.”
This is where play therapy can be so powerful—because it doesn’t rely on a child’s ability to have a rational conversation about their feelings. Instead, it meets them right where they are developmentally.
Play Therapy Helps Decode What Children Can’t Say
It’s almost like play therapists are trained to speak another language—a language made up of themes, movement, metaphors, role play, and emotional tone. In Synergetic Play Therapy®, we pay close attention to what’s coming up in the play, how it feels to be in the room with the child, and how the child is expressing their inner world—without needing to explain it.
Children naturally use play to explore the things they don’t yet have words for:
Unprocessed experiences
Difficult emotions
Fear, anger, or grief
Relational challenges or trauma
As play therapists observe these patterns, we begin to understand what’s “underneath” a child’s behaviors. We then work closely with caregivers to share those insights, which leads to more effective support at home and helps parents feel less in the dark.
Play Therapists Support the Emotional Brain—And Help Build the Thinking Brain
In a way, play therapists act like a child’s developing prefrontal cortex. We gently start to put words to the emotional experiences children are showing us in sessions. This process helps children:
Identify and name their feelings
Connect body sensations to emotions
Integrate difficult experiences that may be keeping them stuck
Create new emotional patterns and responses over time
Children often repeat behaviors or emotional themes until they’re processed and integrated. Play therapy helps this happen at the right developmental level, using the brain's natural learning process—experiential learning through relationship and play.
What If My Child Is Verbal or Older?
Play therapy isn’t limited to younger children or nonverbal experiences. For older children or teens who do use language in sessions, we’re still attending to the whole child—not just what they say, but how they say it, the emotions under their words, and what’s happening in the room emotionally.
Even when a child is telling stories, the themes and emotional tones often reflect what’s really going on inside. Play therapy gives them a safe place to express this without pressure, and to start connecting the dots between their inner world and outer behaviors.
Play Therapy: A Language Where Children Feel Seen
What makes play therapy so impactful is that it gives children a space where someone truly gets them—even when they don’t have the words to explain.
When a child feels deeply seen, understood, and safe, they begin to make lasting changes—emotionally, behaviorally, and relationally.
Curious If Play Therapy Is the Right Fit?
If your child is experiencing big behaviors and you’re struggling to understand what’s underneath it all, you don’t have to figure it out alone. Play therapy can help you get to the root of what’s going on and help your child feel supported, understood, and empowered.
📞 Click the Contact below to schedule a free 15-minute introduction call. I’d love to explore how play therapy could support your child and your family.